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Is Your Partner Controlling?
by Kes Cross
In good relationships, there is a certain amount of psychic ‘wrestling’. This revolves around the power shifts between the two partners. This is entirely natural and, in a stable relationship, part of the support that each partner offers the other. However, sometimes that power shift can be entirely one-sided. In this case, the problem must either be addressed or the relationship must end.

Those who seek to dominate in a relationship have often suffered rejection in the past and are unable to deal with it. For most of us, the possibility of rejection is a normal part of any relationship. It is never pleasant, but it is something we learn to handle and live with. Our psychic selves are able to look at the bigger picture.

For those whose psychic selves operate through fear, the wider perspective is lost and rejection becomes an event of enormous proportions. As a result, they seek to control future relationships and remove the possibility of rejection. If you think your partner is suffering from control issues of this sort, there are five simple tests you can carry out:

Gifts
Many controlling types lavish gifts on their partners as a manifestation of their psychic insecurity. In essence, they believe they are not good enough for you, so use gifts as a way to ensnare you. If your partner is constantly bombarding you with expensive gifts, reject one of them. A controlling type will take this as a personal insult.

Arguments
Controllers will often throw back your own words in a different form and out of context. This is to undermine your faith in yourself and encourage your dependency on them. Mention that you believe this to be controlling behaviour. They might suggest it is you who are the controlling one. The psychic shield of a controller is designed to reject any accusations of this sort, without discussion or consideration.

Friends & Family
Keep an eye on your other relationships. Controllers like to isolate their partners, so that theirs is the only show in town. Although controllers are able to exert a strong psychic influence on one person, they find it difficult to spread their powers over a crowd. Talk to friends and get their opinions.

Your Needs
Many controllers use their psychic power to try and define their partner’s reality. For example, if you were to complain that you are tired, your partner might respond that it’s all in your imagination. Controllers know that by undermining your experiences and needs, your psychic self will lapse into self-doubt and, ultimately, look to the controller for the answers. These affirmations that you are wrong and that you don’t know yourself may be subtle at first, but are likely to grow over time.

Physical Symptoms
If a controlling personality senses that their partner may be pulling away from them, they can develop symptoms such as back pain, migraines and stomach upset. These are designed to appeal to your sympathetic, nurturing side and lure you back into the relationship. While these symptoms are psychosomatic, the controller is likely to believe they are real, and even to blame you for them. They will argue that you created the stress that has brought on these symptoms.

Healing a controlling personality is a difficult process. You can never be sure whether they are owning up to the problem or playing further psychic games. The true test is getting a controller to agree to some form of long-term therapy. In this situation, they will have to embrace their worst fear—giving up control and showing themselves to be vulnerable. This healing takes time. A sudden and miraculous change, unfortunately, is likely to to be just another tactic.



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